Hi my name is Ruth and I'm addicted to Pinterest. Oh, and Facebook, Bradsdeals, Amazing Lightening Deals, maybe I should stop now.
I saw a quote today on Pinterest that resonated with me. Author unknown.
Wow. So true. I've seen this happen in my life. I've had it happen to me. Let me share two powerful but painful examples.
I'll never forget that day. Tyler had been sick and I was worried but telling myself that until I knew what was going on I was just panicking. He was scheduled for his first MRI at 11:00. I wanted to show him that is was no big deal so I still put him on the bus that morning for school. I purposefully planned to make it a normal day.
Mike had left a few days before to return to Afghanistan. He had a few months left to finish his year apart. I was hanging on to my dignity by a thread. I wanted to stay curled up in bed but realized that wasn't the message my kids needed to finish a year long deployment. I'd spent nine months telling them we loved Daddy, that it's okay to cry but we have to still be joyful.
I picked Tyler up from school and drove him to the Magnetic Imagining Center in Watertown NY. I can't help but remember all of Tyler's details but have to stop and think about the deployment details.
I didn't have Tyler's social security number on me and Mike was stranded in Atlanta International Airport due to snow so I just texted him to look into it for me. I chatted with the receptionist and learned the difference between contrast and non contrast MRI's. I remember my friend Robin asking me earlier if the MRI ordered was with contrast and at the time I had no idea what she meant.
Looking back I can see exactly how God was preparing me. Showing me all the information I was going to need and equipping me for my response.
Tyler went back without me. His choice. I wanted to stay by his side but he was going through the normal phase of life where he wanted to be grown up and do it alone. He'll learn sometime in early adult that's crazy but as a young man he will have to figure this out alone.
I was watching TV out in the waiting room. I was the only one there. At the time I was in a Beth Moore bible study and we'd just covered the importance of memory verses. Beth had joked in her video about needing to pin verses on her clothes like a mother pins notes to the teacher on her child. I chuckle every time I think of it. I'd combined this with something I'd heard on KLove at the beginning of Mike's deployment.
When someone asks where you live pick a memory verse. In the military it's a very confusing question to answer where you live. Do you mean, where was I born? where I grew up? where I just moved from? or where I reside right now? It's made fun of on Armed Forces TV. I can totally relate so when I heard to share a verse and tell someone I lived there I loved it.
God gave me the verse Psalm 112:7 (NIV)
"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
I had it on an index card in my purse. I had needed it many many times in the previous nine months. I stopped watching the news that year because every little thing made it hard to sleep at night.
Sitting in the waiting room I decided to clean my purse. Silly the things we do when bored. I'd just finished tossing the receipts I didn't need in the trash and was clutching my index card when the nurse that was with Tyler came around the corner heading to the bathroom. She was crying.
Once she'd pulled herself together she exited the bathroom and walked towards me. Time started to slow. I put my verse in my pocket.
I remember word for word our conversation. She was asking where I attended church and was telling me she was Mormon and that Jesus loved me. That she had an amazing church fellowship and wanted to make sure I was surrounded by loving believers like she was. I remember being amused, curious and paralysed. I can best explain it as a looming darkness that I could see in the distance or out of the corner of my eye but I physically could not look directly at it. My hands clenched in my pocket. Around my verse.
I wasn't told anything about Tyler other than he'd need fluids and to head straight to his Doctor's office. I stopped at Wendy's to get Tyler a frosty. He chatted non stop about his adventure. That he hated the needle and the fluid was super cold but that the headphones were awesome. Chatter about how hard it is to stay perfectly still when you need to tap your foot to good tunes. I listened while refusing to look at the looming darkness threatening to overwhelm me.
I burst into tears twice before I made it to the Dr.'s office and once in the waiting room. All before I had any idea. I sent Mike a text to update him but had no idea if he'd made his flight or could even get my text anymore. Once he boarded the plane his phone would be off until he was back in the US again. Otherwise a single text could cost $50.
In those moments I became conscience of the index card in my hand. Wrinkled, smeared and just there, in my hand. I choose in those moments to trust. I packed away my fear. I knew. I knew it was going to be bad. I couldn't have known how bad. I don't think I could have had enough faith after I heard the news. The decision to believe and have faith had to come first. I set the path for all future thoughts in those moments.
So in less than 20 minutes after my decision to believe that God had this, I learned my son was dying of a brain tumor.
I'll stop here. I'll share the good news that the tumor was quickly removed. Tyler's chances to live were extremely low that January. We faced the possible death of Tyler, or the chance he would live but as a vegetable. The decisions we had to make were quick and dirty. Decisions that still make me tremble. However, God had laid a path and shown me His will. I wasn't left to do any of this alone.
I experience a life changing moment and kept my joy. I was fought for with every breath I took that year. However, the battle was won in my head. Keeping my thoughts under control expelled the looming darkness. Like those monsters in Harry Potter that must me defeated by light. I had a patronis, GOD to go before me and expel the darkness.
The second painful experience I want to share is both my story and not my story. You'll understand in a moment.
Mike became depressed.
He had plenty of reasons why.
His mind came to believe he was worthless.
He set the path in his mind to see disrespect and worthlessness believing to his core that he was unloved at home.
These thoughts eroded his character and allowed him to justify having an affair.
This created a deep wound in our marriage.
It all started with thoughts.
That lead to words spoken.
That fed actions.
Our minds are where we win and lose.
Words are a sign of your thoughts but by the time it comes out of our mouths the path has already been decided. The outcome predictable.
Who you are is decided by your thoughts.
I've heard the argument that you can't control what pops into your head. Really?
Let's look at Philippians 4:4-9 (the Message) because it would seem this is not a new idea and we've got instructions right here on how to combat this.
Notice it doesn't say try to avoid bad things, it says fill your minds. I picture this as a glass with oil in it being filled with water. The oil floats on top and spills over the sides as the glass overflows.
This is how I approach protecting my mind. I make sure it's so full that there isn't room for anything else. In our age of information overload this takes dedication but gets easy with practice.
I memorize verses. I fill up on reading good things. Not just the bible, I enjoy a bunch of authors that can best be described as fluffy. Romance novels can be wonderful. Filled with love and the importance of treating others with truth and respect. Or they can be filled with exciting things that are just junk. A good murder mystery can be inspiring or make it hard to sleep without the lights on.
Facebook and Pinterest are another great place to fill up on great things. However, it is just as easy to fill up on crap there too. What's a girl to do?
Duh, make choices and decided to conscience turn away from junk. It gets easy with practice.
My facebook uplifts me. I have many friends that post memory verses or how well they've done exercising. Baby pictures and giggles to brighten my day. Politics from those who are concerned about our country but are searching for truth. While I might not always enjoy the truths they find they are doing it in a conscientious way that is not harming the dignity of those who oppose them.
I use Pinterest as I would a magazine. Fluff to entertain and to inspire me to do more with my resources. I've learned how not to coupon. I've been inspired to cook more. I'm filling my mind with all sorts of fun stuff.
I'm so full of it that I'm not overly phased when I'm at the mall and confronted with Victoria Secrets ads. I'm so full of it that I can move along just fine.
I know the truths of this world are frightening, scary and paralysing. I could fill my mind with knowledge on germs and parasites. That can very easily scare the pants off a normal person. When confronted with certain bits of truth I find I have to stay still for a moment to collect my thoughts.
I find I can't face some things head on because they break my heart. I'm not going to ever really be able to go to the holocaust museum. I believe it is doing good and should be there. I support it but my heart is too tender to see it more than out of the corner of my eye. I recognize I need to protect my heart.
As a bonus though I'll tell you that filling your life with good thoughts will bleed into your dreams and your children. Maybe bleed isn't the right visual, LOL, perhaps I should say the joy of your life will spill into those around you.
Then you can be more like Jesus. Turning others to love because you loved them first. This is what I want my witness to be.
I want others to be at peace in my presence. I want to bring light, joy and love. Laughter and good times even when we face awful truths. I want others to feel loved by me just because it can't help but overflow from my life.
I'm choosing thoughts that are the necessary building blocks for this witness.
What are you thinking?
Who are you becoming?
It's all just in your head.
I saw a quote today on Pinterest that resonated with me. Author unknown.
Watch your thoughts,
they become words,
they become actions.
Watch your actions,
they become habits;
they become character.
Watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.
WHO ARE YOU?
Wow. So true. I've seen this happen in my life. I've had it happen to me. Let me share two powerful but painful examples.
I'll never forget that day. Tyler had been sick and I was worried but telling myself that until I knew what was going on I was just panicking. He was scheduled for his first MRI at 11:00. I wanted to show him that is was no big deal so I still put him on the bus that morning for school. I purposefully planned to make it a normal day.
Mike had left a few days before to return to Afghanistan. He had a few months left to finish his year apart. I was hanging on to my dignity by a thread. I wanted to stay curled up in bed but realized that wasn't the message my kids needed to finish a year long deployment. I'd spent nine months telling them we loved Daddy, that it's okay to cry but we have to still be joyful.
I picked Tyler up from school and drove him to the Magnetic Imagining Center in Watertown NY. I can't help but remember all of Tyler's details but have to stop and think about the deployment details.
I didn't have Tyler's social security number on me and Mike was stranded in Atlanta International Airport due to snow so I just texted him to look into it for me. I chatted with the receptionist and learned the difference between contrast and non contrast MRI's. I remember my friend Robin asking me earlier if the MRI ordered was with contrast and at the time I had no idea what she meant.
Looking back I can see exactly how God was preparing me. Showing me all the information I was going to need and equipping me for my response.
Tyler went back without me. His choice. I wanted to stay by his side but he was going through the normal phase of life where he wanted to be grown up and do it alone. He'll learn sometime in early adult that's crazy but as a young man he will have to figure this out alone.
I was watching TV out in the waiting room. I was the only one there. At the time I was in a Beth Moore bible study and we'd just covered the importance of memory verses. Beth had joked in her video about needing to pin verses on her clothes like a mother pins notes to the teacher on her child. I chuckle every time I think of it. I'd combined this with something I'd heard on KLove at the beginning of Mike's deployment.
When someone asks where you live pick a memory verse. In the military it's a very confusing question to answer where you live. Do you mean, where was I born? where I grew up? where I just moved from? or where I reside right now? It's made fun of on Armed Forces TV. I can totally relate so when I heard to share a verse and tell someone I lived there I loved it.
God gave me the verse Psalm 112:7 (NIV)
"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
I had it on an index card in my purse. I had needed it many many times in the previous nine months. I stopped watching the news that year because every little thing made it hard to sleep at night.
Sitting in the waiting room I decided to clean my purse. Silly the things we do when bored. I'd just finished tossing the receipts I didn't need in the trash and was clutching my index card when the nurse that was with Tyler came around the corner heading to the bathroom. She was crying.
Once she'd pulled herself together she exited the bathroom and walked towards me. Time started to slow. I put my verse in my pocket.
I remember word for word our conversation. She was asking where I attended church and was telling me she was Mormon and that Jesus loved me. That she had an amazing church fellowship and wanted to make sure I was surrounded by loving believers like she was. I remember being amused, curious and paralysed. I can best explain it as a looming darkness that I could see in the distance or out of the corner of my eye but I physically could not look directly at it. My hands clenched in my pocket. Around my verse.
I wasn't told anything about Tyler other than he'd need fluids and to head straight to his Doctor's office. I stopped at Wendy's to get Tyler a frosty. He chatted non stop about his adventure. That he hated the needle and the fluid was super cold but that the headphones were awesome. Chatter about how hard it is to stay perfectly still when you need to tap your foot to good tunes. I listened while refusing to look at the looming darkness threatening to overwhelm me.
I burst into tears twice before I made it to the Dr.'s office and once in the waiting room. All before I had any idea. I sent Mike a text to update him but had no idea if he'd made his flight or could even get my text anymore. Once he boarded the plane his phone would be off until he was back in the US again. Otherwise a single text could cost $50.
In those moments I became conscience of the index card in my hand. Wrinkled, smeared and just there, in my hand. I choose in those moments to trust. I packed away my fear. I knew. I knew it was going to be bad. I couldn't have known how bad. I don't think I could have had enough faith after I heard the news. The decision to believe and have faith had to come first. I set the path for all future thoughts in those moments.
So in less than 20 minutes after my decision to believe that God had this, I learned my son was dying of a brain tumor.
I'll stop here. I'll share the good news that the tumor was quickly removed. Tyler's chances to live were extremely low that January. We faced the possible death of Tyler, or the chance he would live but as a vegetable. The decisions we had to make were quick and dirty. Decisions that still make me tremble. However, God had laid a path and shown me His will. I wasn't left to do any of this alone.
I experience a life changing moment and kept my joy. I was fought for with every breath I took that year. However, the battle was won in my head. Keeping my thoughts under control expelled the looming darkness. Like those monsters in Harry Potter that must me defeated by light. I had a patronis, GOD to go before me and expel the darkness.
The second painful experience I want to share is both my story and not my story. You'll understand in a moment.
Mike became depressed.
He had plenty of reasons why.
His mind came to believe he was worthless.
He set the path in his mind to see disrespect and worthlessness believing to his core that he was unloved at home.
These thoughts eroded his character and allowed him to justify having an affair.
This created a deep wound in our marriage.
It all started with thoughts.
That lead to words spoken.
That fed actions.
Our minds are where we win and lose.
Words are a sign of your thoughts but by the time it comes out of our mouths the path has already been decided. The outcome predictable.
Who you are is decided by your thoughts.
I've heard the argument that you can't control what pops into your head. Really?
Let's look at Philippians 4:4-9 (the Message) because it would seem this is not a new idea and we've got instructions right here on how to combat this.
"Celebrate God all day,
every day. I mean, revel in him!
Make is as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side,
working with them and not against them.
Help them see that the Master is about to arrive.
He could show up any minute.
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray.
Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers,
letting God know your concerns.
Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness,
everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.
It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
Summing it all up, friends,
I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating
on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling,
gracious - the best, not the worst;
the beautiful, not the ugly;
things to praise, not things to curse.
Put into practice what you learned from me,
what you heard and saw and realized.
Do that, and God, who makes everything work together,
will work you into his most excellent harmonies."
Notice it doesn't say try to avoid bad things, it says fill your minds. I picture this as a glass with oil in it being filled with water. The oil floats on top and spills over the sides as the glass overflows.
This is how I approach protecting my mind. I make sure it's so full that there isn't room for anything else. In our age of information overload this takes dedication but gets easy with practice.
I memorize verses. I fill up on reading good things. Not just the bible, I enjoy a bunch of authors that can best be described as fluffy. Romance novels can be wonderful. Filled with love and the importance of treating others with truth and respect. Or they can be filled with exciting things that are just junk. A good murder mystery can be inspiring or make it hard to sleep without the lights on.
Facebook and Pinterest are another great place to fill up on great things. However, it is just as easy to fill up on crap there too. What's a girl to do?
Duh, make choices and decided to conscience turn away from junk. It gets easy with practice.
My facebook uplifts me. I have many friends that post memory verses or how well they've done exercising. Baby pictures and giggles to brighten my day. Politics from those who are concerned about our country but are searching for truth. While I might not always enjoy the truths they find they are doing it in a conscientious way that is not harming the dignity of those who oppose them.
I use Pinterest as I would a magazine. Fluff to entertain and to inspire me to do more with my resources. I've learned how not to coupon. I've been inspired to cook more. I'm filling my mind with all sorts of fun stuff.
I'm so full of it that I'm not overly phased when I'm at the mall and confronted with Victoria Secrets ads. I'm so full of it that I can move along just fine.
I know the truths of this world are frightening, scary and paralysing. I could fill my mind with knowledge on germs and parasites. That can very easily scare the pants off a normal person. When confronted with certain bits of truth I find I have to stay still for a moment to collect my thoughts.
I find I can't face some things head on because they break my heart. I'm not going to ever really be able to go to the holocaust museum. I believe it is doing good and should be there. I support it but my heart is too tender to see it more than out of the corner of my eye. I recognize I need to protect my heart.
As a bonus though I'll tell you that filling your life with good thoughts will bleed into your dreams and your children. Maybe bleed isn't the right visual, LOL, perhaps I should say the joy of your life will spill into those around you.
Then you can be more like Jesus. Turning others to love because you loved them first. This is what I want my witness to be.
I want others to be at peace in my presence. I want to bring light, joy and love. Laughter and good times even when we face awful truths. I want others to feel loved by me just because it can't help but overflow from my life.
I'm choosing thoughts that are the necessary building blocks for this witness.
What are you thinking?
Who are you becoming?
It's all just in your head.
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