It's not the end of the World....

It's been almost a month since I've blogged. What a rollercoaster! If it's not one thing than it's another.

First Tyler, he's been throwing up again. To skip to the good news, it's not a brain tumor issue. Yay. On the downside that means we have no idea what it is. However, it's extremely awesome to hear from the Neurosurgeon that his brain is healing beautifully and shows no sign of any problems. Tyler has been down graded to a yearly MRI.  Woot Woot.

Of course, that still leaves us with his weekly vomiting,only in the mornings,poor to terrible school performance and all that jazz. Good times.

I was waiting to say anything about Tyler because I wanted to get our MRI results from the Dr. first. Normally we get a quick turn around but this time we had two weeks. Then I call Grandma and friends to update them. No point in worrying needlessly.

While we were in a holding pattern Mike and I were doing good. Mike is/was getting better daily. Still lots of bumps in the road but I could see that he really did want to make things work again.
Lots of little things that added up to being treated well and not taken forgranted. Like taking out the trash without being asked. I spilled wax from a scentsy warmer and was too busy to take care of it. Later I caught him scraping it up. While this is just a little thing this is also HUGE. Mike has never seemed to even notice all the little things around him let alone clean up. This thrilled me enormously! Having another adult who takes responsiblily for our surroundings is heavenly.

Which brings me to "expectations". I've been thinking alot about what to expect from myself, from Mike, from God....I found Ephesians 5:25-28.

"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives,

 exactly as Christ did for the church - a love marked by giving, not getting.

 Christ's love make the church whole.

His words evoke her beauty.

Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her,

dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.

And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.

They're really doing themselves a favor - since they're already "one" in marriage. "

 

I've got to say I love that and just in case I missed it a few of my friends on FB posted that verse the same day. God really wanted my attention. Well God, you have it. As I started mulling on what it would be like to be loved like that.....we got a terrible phone call.

 

Mike's Mom was in the hospital. Long story short, she's with Jesus now. It was sudden and we miss her terribly. However, it's interesting too. I've found myself slightly jealous that she's with Jesus. As I talk about this with the kids, Tyler had the best analogy. "It's like she's on the best Disney Cruise ever but there's no phone reception. Someday we'll get to join her but til then she gets to have all the fun without us." Ok.

 

Gayle was the best Mother-in-Law. She was an amazing woman and I'm glad that we got to be there in the end. Being a military family, one of our biggest fears is not being there when family needs us. God provided. It's crazy but we only had luggage because I was preparing to walk out the door less than a month ago. Mike had given me the money I needed to move to Texas and gotten a new credit card (for his new life plans) giving us access to plenty of funds to fly to California with no notice. Everything we thought we were doing for something else ended up preparing us to be able to go Gayle for her passing and memorial. All plans made by God. I'm in awe.

 

It totally brings to life Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you...." He knew.

 

Which brings us to FrankenStorm. Yeah, we got back home to Jersey after the memorial to discover that the world was mad. Crazy. Bonkers. About to be hit by a hurricane. Nuts. The grocery store had already been picked over. No batteries, flashlights, bottled water....We did manage to get plenty of great supplies but it was interesting. 

 

Hurricane Sandy came and left. It rained and poured. The wind blew. We had TV and popcorn. Just looking at our house you'd think nothing special had happened. It was kinda a bummer that schools were closed but the kids didn't mind. Gave us extra time to get over jet lag.

 

Others were not so lucky. Even a block away people were without power for days. Downed trees, damaged power lines, junk that flew in. Good fun.

 

Now we take a deep breath and prepare for a Nor'easter. Which I'd never heard of. Apparently it's a storm that goes West to East. Whatever. They are expecting it to get cold and windy. Not a big deal until you realize that we've used up all our emergency resources and are waiting for stuff on back order. Power goes out now and we might be without for days. Well, it's never dull around here.

 

Did I mention that Mike had surgery yesterday? End of July Mike injured his shoulder. The same day I sent him an email telling him that his treatment of me was awful and I wanted an appology or he needed to find a hotel, before he told me he was having an affair and wanted a divorce, he texted me he'd hurt himself and was at the ER. It was a bad day all round. I was mad at him. He was tired, overworked and now sitting in an ER waiting to find out what he'd done. They thought at the time he'd torn his shoulder muscle.

 

After seeing a specialist he discovered it was the kind of injury that never heals and needs surgery. He got that yesterday. Once they opened him up they discovered it was a split tendon. They put in a plastic pin to anchor his muscle back in place. Ouch. He's going to be in a sling for a month while scar tissue forms and creates more anchors for the muscle and tendon. Double ouch. No driving while this happens....interesting.

 

So what does this last month say about us? Well.....on the one hand our relationship feels like it did before but feels completely diferent at the same time. We'd started sharing a room again a week before we'd heard about his Mom. Which made life easier when we were in CA because we didn't need separate sleeping arrangements. Of course, he'll be in a recliner for a while which puts us back to separate rooms for a while. It feels like two steps forward ten steps back some days.

 

Any intimancy we may be recovering is challenged immediately. A nauseating rollercoaster to be sure. I believe that like Mike's shoulder we are on our way to recovering. After all, it's not the end of the world. It's just a brain tumor, funeral, surgery, Hurricane, Nor'easter kind of month. However, my highlights still look good and we all know that with good hair everything is easier.