What in the world does it mean to be an effective Christian woman?
I've started really listening to what's being said around me and I've decided that mostly we just repeat cliches.
"Be Bold!"
"Be meek and humble."
"Be ladylike."
"Being Ladylike never changed history."
"Seduce your husbands!"
"Guard your purity."
Ugh.
Does the church hear itself?
Being the queen of out of the box thinking I could probably put a spin on all of these that would make perfect sense and show how we can be all of it at once but to what end?
I've also discovered that people don't really want what they are asking for. They are shocked and confused when you are bold. They are horrified when you're not ladylike. They are annoyed at humility and meekness.
Last night was the Super Bowl.
Plenty of ladies that mentioned they don't care for it and don't watch it posted all about the half time show. I thought this was funny because I also don't care so I was in fact was busy catching up on Star Trek. I'm guessing that the only reason I wasn't forced to watch it is because we don't have cable or local channels and our Internet TV died on Friday. My husband was forced to watch it in a 4"x4" square on his computer. That's all CBS would provide for streaming.
Lucky me.
It brings up another delightful contradiction we hear, don't conform." Just because someone you know is doing it doesn't make it right for you." However, that never seems to address how to behave when you're married to, "someone". Or the fact that the church is asking you to conform to it's interpretation of "good Christian woman". Some churches even go so far as to have a dress code.
I'm doing a study on Tuesday nights called, gods at war.Yes, little g. It's about identifying idols/strongholds in our lives that are between us and God. It's a great study that is doing a great job of pointing out that only God can correct our behavior.
It had some questions we could use to help us identify idols in our lives.
What is your biggest disappointment?
Who's encouragement means the most to you?
Where does your time and money go?
It pointed out that people and behaviors can be idols too. Interesting.
I can see how after Tyler I strayed for total reliance on God and more reliance on Mike. Oops.
I never meant to make my husband an idol. I had to struggle with the idea that I was worshiping Mike by focusing my meal planning energies on his favorite meals. By sorting my day so that I could be free and available for him. Making favorite meals, pouring out my love, all seemed reasonable at the time. They say hindsight is 20/20 for a reason.
Looking back, I don't think I was behaving in a crazy manner but in a very acceptable normal way. However, not as God intended. God is a jealous God and He wanted my focus.
Mike also wanted my focus on God.
It was a burden for Mike. I was asking for provisions, love, support, etc....that belonged to God. Ouch. That can break a person. Not my intent at all.
So what does this have to do with being Ladylike?
I'm starting to think that we're practising a strange religion that has messed with our perception of Good Godly Christian Woman. We have no real idea how to be humble meek and bold. Because you can't. Humility and Boldness sure but Meekness and Boldness are opposites. Our message to each other and from the church is so messy that we are unraveling it alone at home. So confused and frustrated we just do whatever and decided that's what was meant.
I'm mulling on all these things when, bam, I'm directed to this blog, http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/ and the article Are Christians Idolizing Virginity. Powerful ideas here. It's a old story that is tried and true. We take the Christian behavior and turn to it instead of turning to God. We create a whole focus that seems wonderful but is in fact not focusing on God at all.
I'm not entirely sure what ladylike looks like. I'm not clear on what it is to be humbly bold but I have figured out where to discover it. It's not google.
While I will be looking for the answer in my Bible I will also be focusing on my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It's okay if I get distracted from the topic of womanly behavior because I was focused on HIM. It would be nice to know just so that I can better lead my family but for now I'm going to trust that God's got me and I'm to be my normal animated self unless otherwise directed.
I've started really listening to what's being said around me and I've decided that mostly we just repeat cliches.
"Be Bold!"
"Be meek and humble."
"Be ladylike."
"Being Ladylike never changed history."
"Seduce your husbands!"
"Guard your purity."
Ugh.
Does the church hear itself?
Being the queen of out of the box thinking I could probably put a spin on all of these that would make perfect sense and show how we can be all of it at once but to what end?
I've also discovered that people don't really want what they are asking for. They are shocked and confused when you are bold. They are horrified when you're not ladylike. They are annoyed at humility and meekness.
Last night was the Super Bowl.
Plenty of ladies that mentioned they don't care for it and don't watch it posted all about the half time show. I thought this was funny because I also don't care so I was in fact was busy catching up on Star Trek. I'm guessing that the only reason I wasn't forced to watch it is because we don't have cable or local channels and our Internet TV died on Friday. My husband was forced to watch it in a 4"x4" square on his computer. That's all CBS would provide for streaming.
Lucky me.
It brings up another delightful contradiction we hear, don't conform." Just because someone you know is doing it doesn't make it right for you." However, that never seems to address how to behave when you're married to, "someone". Or the fact that the church is asking you to conform to it's interpretation of "good Christian woman". Some churches even go so far as to have a dress code.
I'm doing a study on Tuesday nights called, gods at war.Yes, little g. It's about identifying idols/strongholds in our lives that are between us and God. It's a great study that is doing a great job of pointing out that only God can correct our behavior.
It had some questions we could use to help us identify idols in our lives.
What is your biggest disappointment?
Who's encouragement means the most to you?
Where does your time and money go?
It pointed out that people and behaviors can be idols too. Interesting.
I can see how after Tyler I strayed for total reliance on God and more reliance on Mike. Oops.
I never meant to make my husband an idol. I had to struggle with the idea that I was worshiping Mike by focusing my meal planning energies on his favorite meals. By sorting my day so that I could be free and available for him. Making favorite meals, pouring out my love, all seemed reasonable at the time. They say hindsight is 20/20 for a reason.
Looking back, I don't think I was behaving in a crazy manner but in a very acceptable normal way. However, not as God intended. God is a jealous God and He wanted my focus.
Mike also wanted my focus on God.
It was a burden for Mike. I was asking for provisions, love, support, etc....that belonged to God. Ouch. That can break a person. Not my intent at all.
So what does this have to do with being Ladylike?
I'm starting to think that we're practising a strange religion that has messed with our perception of Good Godly Christian Woman. We have no real idea how to be humble meek and bold. Because you can't. Humility and Boldness sure but Meekness and Boldness are opposites. Our message to each other and from the church is so messy that we are unraveling it alone at home. So confused and frustrated we just do whatever and decided that's what was meant.
I'm mulling on all these things when, bam, I'm directed to this blog, http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/ and the article Are Christians Idolizing Virginity. Powerful ideas here. It's a old story that is tried and true. We take the Christian behavior and turn to it instead of turning to God. We create a whole focus that seems wonderful but is in fact not focusing on God at all.
I'm not entirely sure what ladylike looks like. I'm not clear on what it is to be humbly bold but I have figured out where to discover it. It's not google.
While I will be looking for the answer in my Bible I will also be focusing on my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It's okay if I get distracted from the topic of womanly behavior because I was focused on HIM. It would be nice to know just so that I can better lead my family but for now I'm going to trust that God's got me and I'm to be my normal animated self unless otherwise directed.
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