Friday, February 1, 2013

As Superbowl Approaches

So, as a military wife I've picked up a few interesting habits. One of them is to go to more than one church at a time.

I think I do it because I visit one, like them, but then crave more fellowship and find more. I love our main church, Hope but they don't offer anything during the week. They've decided to just have one Saturday a month for a ladies fellowship and then they offer an evening bible study for six weeks twice a year. Pathetic. I don't understand why this is? I want Sunday School on Sunday mornings, then an offering to study or fellowship or exercise every single day of the week.

So I attend PWOC on Tuesdays as my bible study. I don't attend Chapel though because they've also dropped the Sunday School thing and don't even use Bible's with the kids on Sunday mornings just coloring pages. The chapel apparently has a dinner and bible study/awanna's on Wednesday. Well, I can't eat what they serve (way to much sugar and usually all starches) and I've been invited to fellowship at Karaoke night. It was a no brainer.

All said and done I'm seeing a trend towards no Sunday School and hearing from many that it's so hard to meet people. It is connected.

But I digress. To fill my desire for study, fellowship and worship I go where I find it.

However, as we get close to Superbowl I'm noticing a trend and I recognize it from many years past. How many times in the last few years have you heard someone tell you to "Get excited at church like you do at a football game!"

When I hear this at PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) I roll my eyes. I have in fact heard this every single week for the last six weeks.

This week after if was mentioned I decided I'd had it and went to her and suggested she think out of the box, perhaps for this audience (mostly over 50 retiree's who knit during the study) you should ask them to have the enthusiasm you'd feel if Jo Anne's was having a 90% off sale. Or even, if you woke up and discovered your had the body of your youth? But no, I was told that she believes that the football analogy is valid for us gals.

Personally I don't watch the game. I ignore it and then come in the room to catch the commercials. I've never bothered to learn the game. I might some day but I'm busy and I don't really care to spend that much time in something that doesn't move my life forward. I will take the time to smile and laugh though. I find the commercials at Superbowl are excellent for a laugh.

So I guess I do sit through my bible study with the same enthusiasm as I use for the Super Bowl. This is me following the letter not the spirit of the law.

In the same day, at the same study we then broke off into our groups.

Then it got interesting.

I asked some questions that sparked confusion and debate.

My ladies group is filled with those from other denominations and not everyone is saved. They are from all walks. Our only common denominator is that we are or were military spouses.

We're doing the study, When God's People Pray. After watching some video we are asked two questions. The question was,

"Why does God refuse to listen to us when we sin?"

I was instantly on put on guard by the wording. I wanted the opportunity to establish the background of this question. My intent was to clarify that this was for believer's who were knowingly defiant. Not a sinner coming in repentance for the first time. So I asked something along the lines of,

"To be clear, we're talking not about a sinner coming for salvation or even that we need to continually renew our salvation but that this is meant for a defiant believer who doesn't want to part with their current sinful behavior?"

The immediate response was many women telling me that sin is inevitable and that we all fall under this.

I tried another approach, "If I was an old car and my engine was removed and I was restored, I would then continue my life as a restored vehicle. Sure I'd still need maintenance but it doesn't change that I'm restored."

I could barely keep track of the verses on sin being quoted to me at this point. All true. The flesh is weak. We're all sinners. blah blah blah....I understand.

Then I was treated to woman asking me if I ever worry.

It went from bad to worse because I answered that while I have worried I've recently been free from worry. Recognizing that it is a choice and I choose to give worry over to God.

I was accused of being perfect.

I laughed.

Then the gut punch. Instead of listening or trying to understand....one of the oldest ladies in the group turned her face to me and said,

"Oh, you are filled with such deep Anger."

Huh?

The chorus was taken up around the room, "Anger is a sin", "I can see it in her face", "You're sinning right now girl, get on your knees", "God knows your heart".....

Whoa. I backed up. Took a moment and asked, "what am I angry about?"

"That's between you and God."

I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the bible study.

As I was leaving, many of the woman stopped me and told me I needed counseling. I was getting extremely frustrated. I even said to the Bible Study leader, "You're the third person to suggest counseling and I'm glad that I'm in counseling. Otherwise I'd think you guys had something.  I am getting angry. I'm getting horribly frustrated that we are calling this a bible study but it's just a merry little sing along without the bouncing ball. I was unable to ask questions outside of the parameters of the established questions. My desire is to delve into the study and learn but I'm supposed to just answer, Jesus is the way."

This was not well received.

I'm sure most of you can picture this. I'm wearing my zebra print sweater, and talking loudly. I'm not a quiet girl. This was exactly the kind of excitement that was encouraged moments before at assembly but then labeled anger when faced with it.

I find myself chewing on this days later.

I'm tempted the next time I hear someone encourage us to behave like we're cheering our favorite team to do just that.

Picture it, a bare fellowship hall with folding chairs and tables. Ladies knitting while we sing a chorus slowed down so that the leader can add trills and frills with her voice. I stand up and holler, "You go girl, Woot Woot, while fist pumping."

When they read the bible I yell encouragements and my support.

I think they would lynch me.

I would be acting in the letter of the law. Not even close to the spirit but then I'm not entirely sure they understand what they are asking either.

As I've prayed over this, I received Galatians 5: 16, 17

"My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?"

NIV reads, "So I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."

God is so fabulous to me that this actually led me to two answers I've been searching for.

First, that I'm not filled with anger I'm "high-spirited" or "animated" which is a very good thing. We've come to believe that it is good and humble to be quiet, soft spoken, and nice. I challenge that by just being me. I'm not always nice. I might even hurt your feelings but my motivation is love and I do it in the spirit of truth. Usually I don't even recognize I did it until you mention it.

I can also apply the golden rule here, I would much rather be hurt all day, every day by friends who love me than lied to by enemies. So I have, done unto others what I want done to me.

Secondly, if you think back, I mentioned that the ladies of my bible study answered that sin was  inevitable. Oh this has caused me much thought. "Worry and Stress" in fact that I have in turn passed along to God asking if it could be true? Do we have to sin?

No. Short answer.

Then long answer is that we are saved by grace and through Christ we have strength. When you get to the moment of temptation it is too late. Your flesh is weak.
However, the "magic instructions" for not sinning are in Galatians 5. We have to graft our lives into God's. We have to walk in the Spirit, etc... you've heard this a thousand different ways. Because God knew we'd need to hear it over and over.

We have the choice to remain in him.

Put one more way, it's like exercise. You get in what you put out and the benefits stop when you stop exercising. You remain in health when you have the proper behavior.

This isn't implying works saves us. This is implying that we have to choose HIM. Basically everyday.

As for the question in my bible study, "Why does God refuse to listen to us when we sin?"

My answer, "Same reason I refuse to hear my children when they yell at me from the basement with the video controller in their hand. They aren't ready to listen. They are focused on what they want, not willing to even give me a moments respect and walk up stairs to find me."

Now I just have to figure out if I'm supposed to continue going to this study and continue to stir things up or walk away. I can see both sides. I'm counting on the Lord to make it very clear and I'll just obey. I should have my answer by Tuesday...8:45am. Possibly no sooner but that's okay. I live to serve.

And to share irony, I was warned. Our assembly verses was to put on the Armor of God.....Good thing I need my "belt of truth" to keep my pants up.

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