Learning Hate.

I knew someday I'd have to teach my children how to hate but I thought it was far off. Perhaps once they'd started dating. Never today.

Today Tyler snuggled up next to me on the couch and said, "I hate her mom. I want her to die."

Oh, sweetheart.

Our first lesson on hate had begun without me noticing.

"Tyler, no. You can't hate her. You can hate cheating. You can hate sin but you can't hate her."

"But Mom, she's terrible. She took Daddy."

"No, she's human. Sin is terrible and Daddy made a choice to sin."

"Can I hate Dad?"

This was a delicate dance that will require many more conversations. I wish I could just tell Tyler and have complete instant understanding but that's never gonna happen. I called Katie to join us.

Today we talked about hate.

Hate is powerful and can protect. When you hate innocent people being hurt, hate lying, and hate cheating you are standing for Love, Protection and Honesty. People sin though and do these things to us all the time. We are never to hate people. This is an interesting idea to the kids. They were highly interested that I was encouraging them to hate. To hate on purpose. That hating protects. This was something they'd never hear about or thought about.

Until this week hate was how you treated vegatables, showers and bedtime. It wasn't an issue about hating people. We'd learned about hateful people and to steer clear of them but this was diferent.

Learning how to HATE what their Daddy has done to them while not hating Dad.... Well, it's going to take direct intervetion from the Holy Spirit to understand.

I also told them that when you HATE the wrong way it's like peeing in the pool. Hating the wrong way is a poison to you and everyone around you. Hating people is destructive and destroys. It's weak and not God's plan. But that even God hates.

Proverbs 6:16-19

"Here are six things God hates, and

one more that he loathes with a passion:

eyes that are arrogant,

a tongue that lies,

hands that murder the innocent,

a heart that hatches evil plots,

feet that race down a wicked track,

a mouth that lies under oath,

a troublemaker in the family."

God hates. We are supposed to hate. Hating wrong causes pain and destroys peoples lives. Hating right means always lovingly, kindly, treating the person but being very immovable about what is wrong. It means being honest and assertive becaues you hate lies and sneakiness.

It means behaving with dignity because you hate and refuse to manipulate.

Hating God's way is constructive. Hating sin but loving the sinner allows you to stand against sin and still forgive the person.

Take a stand against dishonesty, abuse, disrespect, control, oppression. Hate them. When you dont' you lower the standards in your life. Just like water dribbles down to the lowest spot on the ground, if you allow mistreatment, then people who mistreat others will find you and give you what you tolerate.

Never tolerate sin.

Proverbs 6:32

"Adultery is a brainless act, soul-destroying, self-destructive; Expect a bloody nose, a black eye, and a reputaion ruined for good." The Message

"A man who takes part in adultery has no sense; he will destroy himself." NIV

Poor Mike. He's currently a brainless troublemaker in the family. Destroying himself but we are still called to love him. We are to hate adultery, cheating, lying, troublemaking but never Mike.

You try telling this to the troublemakers son. I hope Tyler is even able to listen. I hate what sin is doing to us. I hate seeing that look of pain on my childrens faces but this isn't ever going away.

If you know someone who is struggling in their marrage please share my blog with them so they can better count the cost of divorce. The price is so very high.

I'm counting the cost of my actions each and every day. I'm both honored and saddened to teach my children about sin. They are better understanding their personal salvation in a way that most 9 and 12 year olds don't have to face.

We're going to lean in and learn from our problems. We just learned that problems can be dealt with in three ways.

1. Change yourself. ( If your neighbor is noisy can you just ignore it? Work on your attitude?)

2. Change your enviroment simply. ( Would moving to another room solve it? Can you wear headphones to drown them out?)

3. Remove the problem or yourself. ( Can you move apartments? Can you go outside? Can you ask them to turn it down?)

However I'm not sure this applies this time.

I've learned that you just don't tolerate sin. If the person involved can't help but continue to sin than you have to remove yourself from them. You don't just sit by and watch. You flee from evil.

If you watch some murder an innocent and do nothing you are an assessory.

Because I told Tyler and Katie that hating wrong was like peeing in the pool they figured out that it was something people do but don't admit to. They are sharp kids. I agree that far too often even Christians think we have to tolerate everything to love the sinner. Or they end up hating the Sinner just as much as the Sin.

Oh man is this a hard hard lesson to teach your kids. I've never been so personally violated and struggled so hard to hate properly.

I'm not entirely sure I like that Jesus died on the cross to save people from such behaviour. I kinda don't mind sinners burning in hell. That is until I remember that there is no sin scale and I'm kinda totally a sinner...For all have sinned.....bummer.

I'd much rather have taught my kids how to make a cake.