I love getting to stew on things for a day. I always have.
I imagine that it's easy to see what I've been thinking as you really don't need to be a mindreader since I'm blogging.
It's been gently pointed out to me that...blah blah, this and that, blah blah. I'd like to share where my heart is at this moment hoping to make the mud clear.
I've discovered that the intamcy in marriage that God planned for us has been missing in my life. That means to me that I don't truly understand love. I'm not in any way blaming anyone. It's like discovering that there are more flavors of ice cream than vanilla. Awe inspiring. Makes you to know exactly what God meant.
I offically crave to know true intamcy and don't know if I'll settle ever again. That's what God showed me this morning.
God's strengthened and loved me over the last couple of days so much that I'm offically spoiled rotten. I never want to not be spoiled by God. It's brilliant. So my heart cries and it's hard to take because growing up always is. Plus being a know-it-all I don't like having new information so late in the game.
As for the rest. I do need to treat my outsides as well as I've been treating my insides. I've been not eating or drinking. It just hurt too much. Not eating is a bad idea. Now my kids kept insisting on meals and no one other than me was starving but I was directly being told to stop it. So I'm not making charts and planning to spend hours as the yet. I did drink enough water today and breakfast and lunch. We'll see about dinner as it's not going so well. I need to be more gentle.
Now for a little bit deeper.
I'm craving and contemplating all this intamcy stuff. It's big. (hee hee, that's what she said)
Seriously though, it makes Mike's betrayal hurt more. It also makes the cross more real. Mike isn't the first or the last person to sin. And there isn't a sin scale so little white lies are the same as an affair in God's book.
This is interesting. There's a book by Townsend and Cloud...like Nine things you must do? It's somewhere and I'm looking for it. I remember reading that every Christian needs to learn to HATE RIGHT. That whole Hate the Sin, not the sinner.
Well, I get that but.... I'm also thinking I hate anything that isn't exactly God's plan for me. I'm becoming more timid as I look into my recent and not so recent past to see all the ways I've separated myself, willingly from God.
And I HATE Separation from God.
It's been a really good day for stewing. Weather almost feels like fall......
I imagine that it's easy to see what I've been thinking as you really don't need to be a mindreader since I'm blogging.
It's been gently pointed out to me that...blah blah, this and that, blah blah. I'd like to share where my heart is at this moment hoping to make the mud clear.
I've discovered that the intamcy in marriage that God planned for us has been missing in my life. That means to me that I don't truly understand love. I'm not in any way blaming anyone. It's like discovering that there are more flavors of ice cream than vanilla. Awe inspiring. Makes you to know exactly what God meant.
I offically crave to know true intamcy and don't know if I'll settle ever again. That's what God showed me this morning.
God's strengthened and loved me over the last couple of days so much that I'm offically spoiled rotten. I never want to not be spoiled by God. It's brilliant. So my heart cries and it's hard to take because growing up always is. Plus being a know-it-all I don't like having new information so late in the game.
As for the rest. I do need to treat my outsides as well as I've been treating my insides. I've been not eating or drinking. It just hurt too much. Not eating is a bad idea. Now my kids kept insisting on meals and no one other than me was starving but I was directly being told to stop it. So I'm not making charts and planning to spend hours as the yet. I did drink enough water today and breakfast and lunch. We'll see about dinner as it's not going so well. I need to be more gentle.
Now for a little bit deeper.
I'm craving and contemplating all this intamcy stuff. It's big. (hee hee, that's what she said)
Seriously though, it makes Mike's betrayal hurt more. It also makes the cross more real. Mike isn't the first or the last person to sin. And there isn't a sin scale so little white lies are the same as an affair in God's book.
This is interesting. There's a book by Townsend and Cloud...like Nine things you must do? It's somewhere and I'm looking for it. I remember reading that every Christian needs to learn to HATE RIGHT. That whole Hate the Sin, not the sinner.
Well, I get that but.... I'm also thinking I hate anything that isn't exactly God's plan for me. I'm becoming more timid as I look into my recent and not so recent past to see all the ways I've separated myself, willingly from God.
And I HATE Separation from God.
It's been a really good day for stewing. Weather almost feels like fall......
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