So I'm guessing many of you have seen Mike's FB post.
Oh the changes a day can bring.
Let me first start with, I'm still leaving for Boerne, TX as planned.
So while I find the details very interesting, you only get the overview. Yesterday, I'd decided that I wasn't filing now and I needed a lawyer. I don't understand the law well enough to do right by the kids. I also felt I needed a year of health insurance to help my establishment in Texas. I was going to mull over the details of this and confront Mike later but the opportunity came late afternoon. So I, told him he was going to be on the line for a year. I'd only had two weeks to process this and I wanted space and perspective. blah blah blah....
At the begining of yesterday I had hunted down Mike's command to report him. I was thinking about HATING RIGHT. I was feeling that I was allowing shennanigans by not following the rules. I didn't want to ruin Mike just get him an ass-whopping. I was good with the thought that the girlfriend would be hunted down and fired. That Mike would be put under a microscope like a bug and possibly held for mental health evaluations.
I told him as much that afternoon.
I'm really stuggling to not just skip to the end of a the story. I'm finding it insanely hard to get the details out in an understandable order. Ugh. I'm also horrible at telling joke. Sure I'm funny but jokes...I start laughing before I've finished the set up. Then I tell the punchline before the set up is complete enough for the punchline to even make since. All while laughing like a lunatic. At least I'm still entertaining. I'm such a giver.
Back to yesterday.
I've mentioned before that when my heart flips I'm offered up a verse. Well about an hour after I bragged to my friend that I'd reported my husband my heart offered up this. "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hurt you." Ah man. Then I was treated to, "Do not enjoy the suffering of your enemies because I can turn it back to you." (that's my translation...it's in proverbs but I couldn't put my finger on it this morning)
Dear God, I thought because I was whining that I've been such an awesome wife that you were going to let me be part of the ass kicking party. Just a small role but I thought it was a gift. I'm not so sure I like being convicted that I need to love and forgive more. I'd really prefer the role of glorious....oh...that's your role...my bad. I'll work on the whole love and forgive. Yeah, nice talk. Yes..I love you too. Yeah, I get that was my spankin. A tiny spankin that lets me know I'm getting frisky. Ok...
My heart was torn between ripping Mike a new one and the lessons God's laying on my heart. I'm God's favorite and all so I'm obeying HIM in everything. Which isn't as confusing as it might sound.
I still got to yell and for drama I threw a temper tantrum and hopped up and down. Which was extremely satisfying due to being on the second floor and having the whole house shake.
Then we got down to talking. We ended up having dinner and still talking.
Yeah, basically, we suck at talking. We've both been listening this time. Concessions have been made. The Divorce is officially off the table til October 2013. We will be living apart during that time. Mike has broken off his other relationship and given me transparency over his accounts, emails, phone, skype, etc... His post was how we'd decided he'd let me know he'd broken it off with Bobbi. I'm thinking he needs more transparency in his life.
I'm still moving to Boerne. I'm still going to live it up and have a blast on his dime. I will answer the phone when he calls.
I'm not sure I made it clear enough that while I'd love him to be my husband he's got to be completely changed. I'm not touching him with a ten foot pole in his current condition. His separation from God is so huge it's like a living shimmering thing. His life is going to suck until he figures this out.
In the meantime my heart is hidden in the Lord. God's totally got this.
So the details of everything and nothing have changed.
I'm good with that because I know exactly what I'm supposed to do.
No if ands or butts.
It's like a superpower knowing this clearly the path I'm supposed to walk.
You can know that in your life too.
I'll bet you can guess what it is? TOTAL OBEDIENCE TO GOD. FOR EVERYTHING.
Super easy...but you have to die to self.....
Make no mistake, this is war. There are casualties and drama. News reels reporting half truths and hearsy. Not this news reel of course....
Interestingly enough the other day I was telling a friend that when God sends you to war it's just like when the ARMY sends you. You get equipted with exactly what you're gonna need. God is way more prepared for this battle, never doubt HE's got your gear down. The Army isn't stupid enough to send a guy out to war in his pj's. How much more awesome is God than the Army?
Oh the changes a day can bring.
Let me first start with, I'm still leaving for Boerne, TX as planned.
So while I find the details very interesting, you only get the overview. Yesterday, I'd decided that I wasn't filing now and I needed a lawyer. I don't understand the law well enough to do right by the kids. I also felt I needed a year of health insurance to help my establishment in Texas. I was going to mull over the details of this and confront Mike later but the opportunity came late afternoon. So I, told him he was going to be on the line for a year. I'd only had two weeks to process this and I wanted space and perspective. blah blah blah....
At the begining of yesterday I had hunted down Mike's command to report him. I was thinking about HATING RIGHT. I was feeling that I was allowing shennanigans by not following the rules. I didn't want to ruin Mike just get him an ass-whopping. I was good with the thought that the girlfriend would be hunted down and fired. That Mike would be put under a microscope like a bug and possibly held for mental health evaluations.
I told him as much that afternoon.
I'm really stuggling to not just skip to the end of a the story. I'm finding it insanely hard to get the details out in an understandable order. Ugh. I'm also horrible at telling joke. Sure I'm funny but jokes...I start laughing before I've finished the set up. Then I tell the punchline before the set up is complete enough for the punchline to even make since. All while laughing like a lunatic. At least I'm still entertaining. I'm such a giver.
Back to yesterday.
I've mentioned before that when my heart flips I'm offered up a verse. Well about an hour after I bragged to my friend that I'd reported my husband my heart offered up this. "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hurt you." Ah man. Then I was treated to, "Do not enjoy the suffering of your enemies because I can turn it back to you." (that's my translation...it's in proverbs but I couldn't put my finger on it this morning)
Dear God, I thought because I was whining that I've been such an awesome wife that you were going to let me be part of the ass kicking party. Just a small role but I thought it was a gift. I'm not so sure I like being convicted that I need to love and forgive more. I'd really prefer the role of glorious....oh...that's your role...my bad. I'll work on the whole love and forgive. Yeah, nice talk. Yes..I love you too. Yeah, I get that was my spankin. A tiny spankin that lets me know I'm getting frisky. Ok...
My heart was torn between ripping Mike a new one and the lessons God's laying on my heart. I'm God's favorite and all so I'm obeying HIM in everything. Which isn't as confusing as it might sound.
I still got to yell and for drama I threw a temper tantrum and hopped up and down. Which was extremely satisfying due to being on the second floor and having the whole house shake.
Then we got down to talking. We ended up having dinner and still talking.
Yeah, basically, we suck at talking. We've both been listening this time. Concessions have been made. The Divorce is officially off the table til October 2013. We will be living apart during that time. Mike has broken off his other relationship and given me transparency over his accounts, emails, phone, skype, etc... His post was how we'd decided he'd let me know he'd broken it off with Bobbi. I'm thinking he needs more transparency in his life.
I'm still moving to Boerne. I'm still going to live it up and have a blast on his dime. I will answer the phone when he calls.
I'm not sure I made it clear enough that while I'd love him to be my husband he's got to be completely changed. I'm not touching him with a ten foot pole in his current condition. His separation from God is so huge it's like a living shimmering thing. His life is going to suck until he figures this out.
In the meantime my heart is hidden in the Lord. God's totally got this.
So the details of everything and nothing have changed.
I'm good with that because I know exactly what I'm supposed to do.
No if ands or butts.
It's like a superpower knowing this clearly the path I'm supposed to walk.
You can know that in your life too.
I'll bet you can guess what it is? TOTAL OBEDIENCE TO GOD. FOR EVERYTHING.
Super easy...but you have to die to self.....
Make no mistake, this is war. There are casualties and drama. News reels reporting half truths and hearsy. Not this news reel of course....
Interestingly enough the other day I was telling a friend that when God sends you to war it's just like when the ARMY sends you. You get equipted with exactly what you're gonna need. God is way more prepared for this battle, never doubt HE's got your gear down. The Army isn't stupid enough to send a guy out to war in his pj's. How much more awesome is God than the Army?
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