I just finished the CSI marathon. Three hours of depressing reality. It was about a national crime "ring" that snagged beautiful girls and used them in horrible ways. Prostitution, baby breeders, organs.... While for the most part it felt like watching TV there was a scene that tugged on my heartstring.
A beautiful, battered, young woman in in a hospital bed refusing to give up her pimp. "He was the only one who said he loved me." Could that be true? Are there millions of people out there that haven't heard, "I love you". That kills me.
Don't get me wrong I'm not a mushy person. In fact my poor husband is so neglected that the fact I made coffee and pulled out a clean mug for him made him feel loved. However, this thought that people are pathetic empty shells just aching to belong bothers me because I think I can believc it's true.
I've never felt this way. I can't remember a time I didn't feel loved and cherished. My parents drive me crazy but I know they love me. My God confuses me but I feel cherished. In fact I feel special! (not just short bus special either, but take on the world special)
For example, I was at Walmart today. Big surprise there. As usually I was walking around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to remember why I was at Walmart when I needed to be at Home Depot or Sears. I finished up shopping and got to the register confident that I had my debit card in my purse but no. I'm standing at the register searching my purse in vain. My debit card is sitting next to my computer at home. I was too busy buying cute shoes last night to remember to do what I am forever telling the kids to do..."put it away when you're done".
I could have freaked out but instead I found a ten dollar gift card for Walmart. "Well, what do you know, God was watching out for me", I said to the cashier. "Lucky you", she responded. "He does that for me," I replied. "I'm lost without Him". Little did she realize the truth of my words. She smiled at me and wished me a good day. Off I went, carrying my new purchases. Feeling loved and protected by God from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.
Am I the only one who gets this? I sure hope not. Feeling loved is where it's at!
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