Secret Formula for Success.....Revealed!

Read a few self-help or finance/business books and you'll run across the formula for success, "Be, Do, Have".  This has not made any sense to me for years.
If I'm dirt poor I should just Be rich? Then I'm supposed to Do Rich? Because that's how I'll have Riches?
 Hmm...So I'm picking up the phone and ordering one of everything on QVC.
Nope, I'm not rich.
But I just believed it in my heart, acted on it and reaped ...... debt.

I've tried applying it in other ways.
To the same confused results.
I'd argue that I believed! I acted on my belief! What was I doing wrong?
I want to be successful. I am successful in so many ways! So why not ALL WAYS?
 Be, Do, Broke has felt more believable.

I can't tell you how many years I've chewed on this thought of Be, Do, Have.
I think I was 16? the first time it crossed my path. This magical formula for success.

Thankfully God designed our brains like super computers and my brain has been collecting information for years. Storing this information so that I can access it when it's time.

Usually I feel like I'm being smacked with a 2x4 when I have an "Ah HA" moment but this time it snuck up on me. I get it.

It makes so much sense all of a sudden I feel mildly embarrassed it too me so long.

So....I started a new BibleStudy Group on Tuesday. Running my finger over the list of options my inner brat did cartwheels and clapped when I saw "Bad Girls of the Bible" on the list. I totally picked that one!

First day we jumped right into infidelity. Ouch.

Potiphar's Wife. You know that giant hussy who wanted some bed play with Joseph? I had a hard time feeling it from the hussy's point of view. Go figure. Although I didn't have a hard time imagining what a stud muffin Joseph might have looked like. I'm still human after all.

Moving right along. As we got to the end of the lesson we were asked to evaluate our lives and see what things in our life were stumbling blocks. "How can we fill our idle time (if we have any!) with appropriate thoughts? Are there specific things you need to avoid, such as R-rated movies? Internet temptations? Steamy novels? Make a list, then make a commitment to steer clear of those things that appeal to your flesh at the risk of your spiritual growth."

I'll tell you, this question bothered me. I hated it. Felt like it was all wrong. They stuck one of my all time favorite verses here.
Philippians 4:8
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."
The book then used the words, "Philippians encourages us to replace.." I'll stop there. I figured out what my problem is. This very isn't about removing it's about doing. Hm...

I asked Tyler to swap over the laundry.
Did I find dry clothes today?
nope.
Why? Because he didn't turn on the dryer.
Hm....another cause and effect that is so simple it's ridiculous.

This verse isn't asking us to search our homes and life for bad stuff to remove. It is imploring us to search GOOD. I get this. I've been mentioning that you get what you're looking for. You find what you are seeking. Whatever you concentrate on grows.
Ah...This is the BE.
Are you looking for the bad or concentrating on the good?
Einstein used a coin to describe this. Forgive me for repeating myself, I love this example. Put a coin in your hand. Only one side can face up at a time. Just like only one thought can be held in your mind at a time. Turn the coin over....it's like you changed your mind.
One side is good.
One side is bad.

These days I get filling myself with everything that is true, noble, right, pure, lovely and admirable. I'm not wasting my time trying to remove crap. I'm focusing on awesome. Sure my life's stats kinda suck these days but I'm filled with peace and love. My heart is being guarded by God. I don't have a better reason for why I'm smiling everyday. I laugh without fear of my future. I'm focusing on God.

I think I've figured out BE DO HAVE.
Your brain is like a super computer.
Be is the program. The platform from which all functions are run. If you don't have software what good is the hardware?
From that software program is DO.
Your DOing is just an expression of your software. It can only DO what was programed.
HAVE is simply the results.

God expressed it in His word as reaping what we sow.
He has instructed us time and time again that our entire focus needs to be HIM.

I see plenty around me still struggling with this. It strikes me as being as simple as telling Tyler to start the dryer or it won't work. Tyler was being obedient and doing what I'd asked. Tyler wasn't trying to get it wrong. It was silly mostly. Nothing to get upset over. However, it's frustrating to keep checking the dryer expecting dry clothes....when it was never started in the first place.

My Biblestudy has an answer for that too.
Romans 5:6-8 (Message)
"Christ arrives right on time to make this happen, He didn't and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented Himself for this sacrificial death when we were far to weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have know what to do anyway."
 skipping down
 "But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him."

In the same way I just chuckled at how useless it was to get Tyler to help with the laundry, and reached out and started the dryer God reaches out and puts us right.

God is so awesome He's just asking for us to focus on Him. To BE in love with HIM. To Be 100% focused on HIM. He's got all the rest.

Because I've been focusing my everything on GOD I've been doing what comes naturally. I've not been worried about tomorrow. Barely had time to give it a thought while singing along with BarlowGirl on Pandora. I'm too busy loving my Saviour to give a rip.

I'm liking this formula for success.

I'm so blessed God thought I was worth it.

The secret of course, is that you are totally worth it too!

 

What's your native language?

So inbetween coughing, popping cough drops and studying real estate I've been mulling on Love.

I know I've got the book, Love Languages....I remember stealing it from Kerri....I can even remember that it's got a hot pink cover. That doesn't mean I've gotten up and found it.

I think the five love languages are: touch, acts of service, words of encouragment, time, and gifts. I briefly remember telling Mike he needs to work on loving me with all of them. In a less bratty moment I realized that's not fair. Sure I'm the wounded one but I'm not the only one. I don't get to forgive and have a monopoly on healing. Bummer.

So I've noticed Mike has been trying. I've seen acts of service and I'm grateful but I'm realizing that it's not my love language. I got to asking myself, "if I could only have one expression of love which one makes me feel cherished?" I love acts of service. I think it's what adults should do but I don't feel cherished just because the dishwasher got loaded.

I love spending time with my kids but it's not enough for either of us. Just spending quality time together isn't my cherished point. I do love spending quality time with the family but I don't think it's anyone's cherish point at my house. I'm not sure about Mike but the rest of us are definately touch.

If we could only have one love language we love hugs. Funny because outside of the house we aren't big on getting hugs from everyone else. At home we are constantly touching each other. When I started to pay attention to it I had to laugh. We're sharing germs at the speed of light. Tyler comes home from school and starts in on his sister immediately. Pretends she's not in the room and sits on her. Or other sillyiness. Katie is just as touchy feely. Gets her touch on by getting in the way, sitting on us, teasing us into tickling her. We are major snugglers. As I type this Tyler is squished between Mike and I on a loveseat. Space is overrated.

The other top love language at my house is encouraging words. Funny. I'm the queen of sarcasm. Way to rock the love. Thankfully Katie and Tyler are also fluent native speakers of sarcasm. Mike, not so much. Don't get me wrong, he's good but not a native speaker. We'll continue to work him over.

I've noticed Mike has been trying to encourage us verbally. It's interesting because while I never mind hearing marvelous things about myself I don't need them to feel loved. In fact I have a very hard time not making fun of encouraging words unless they are spoken in my native tongue, sarcasm.

One more learning curve we're navigating. Those of you who are loved and cherished through words of encouragement are probably cringing thinking about this. Poor Mike has felt unloved and under cherished because we love a backhanded compliment and prefer hugs. Worse, we've laughed at his attempts to shower us in lavish praise. Oops.

We're learning. Apparently we're a tad slow at this house but we're trying.
I love hearing about how God loves us lavishly and abundantly. I want to know all about this good loving.

Oh and gifts. I want to learn more about gifts. Growing up I learned that gifts come with strings attached and I learned how to reject gifts. Not a good thing. I'm having to relearn this whole gift thing as an adult. I've figured out I love love love giving gifts. I love hunting for things that will be perfect for the person I want to give to. Plus I've gotten some marvelous gifts in the last few years that make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

My girlfriends got me a bottle of wine with a naughty name....speaking my language. Another friend got me a starbucks mug (or two) and I favor it now. It makes me smile everytime I use my mug, which is daily when my dishwasher gets loaded properly.

I'm glad God isn't limited and can love me in every way. I can't wait to see how He loves on me today. While I'm looking for it I'll try to say something encouraging to Mike...in English. I'm a bit rusty with English.